A man walks into a bar with a mouse on his shoulder.
"What are you doing with that animal in here?" the barman asks the stranger.
The man replies, "Well, I have a proposition for you. The mouse gets to stay — and I get a full bottle of good whisky — if I can show you the little feller playing the piano!"
"Deal!" says the barman, not believing this obvious drunk.
The stranger sets the mouse on the bar counter, brings out a tiny piano from his rucksack, and — lo and behold! — the mouse starts to play a Mozart piano sonata!
Twenty minutes later, the piece comes to an end. "That's incredible!" says the barman, handing over a bottle of whisky. The man opens it, fills a glass, gives the mouse a small cube of cheese, then sets a toad on the bar.
"Now you're pushing your luck!" says the barman.
"Ah, but I have another proposition for you," says the man. "If this toad can sing he can stay, and you give me a bottle of brandy on the house."
"Deal!" says the barman, feeling sure the toad will be able to do little more than croak. But before his own eyes, and those of everyone else in the bar, the toad sings 'Old man river' all the way through. What's more, he's accompanied on the piano by the mouse.
The bottle of brandy is passed across the bar counter. The man gives the mouse another cube of cheese, and places some bait worms before the toad.
"I'll give you fifty quid for the frog!" cries one of the bar's regulars.
"Done!" says the man. Cash changes hands, and the regular leaves the pub with the toad in his hat, feeling delighted with himself.
"I know it's really not any of my business, but I suppose you know you just gave away a fortune," comments the barman.
"Not at all" says the man. "That mouse is also a ventriloquist!"
We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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