English english?

Archived Topic · Post by **Archived Topic** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 3:08 am

I have been reading through some of these postings. What a “hoot”. I am an Englishman who, by something in the stars, ended up in Charlotte, NC. I am starting to understand some of the, and I use the term very loosely, English in this area. Today I learned what “sembup” is…………… It came to me in a flash once I was given the choice: the question posed was, “Joo wanna cocacola or sembup”? How on earth did the “Americans” destroy such a perfectly good language in such a short period of time? I think y’all should write a new dictionary to include all y’alls new & innovative words & phrases.
The phrases are absolutely marvelous. My favorite is still not decided. It is a split decision between,
a. Raining harder than a double c*nted cow pissing on a tin roof
b. She’s so fine that I would suck the dick of the dog that pissed on the tire of the truck that took her underwear to the laundry,
or, not to be outdone by confusion, the short and simplistic,
c. I already dun did.

I must admit, I perceive you regulars to this site as people with very large computers and some of the worlds most sought after pocket protectors full of pens representing all the colours of the rainbow.

This thread is written in satirical humor. It is meant more for fun than research. It is not written to be offensive to y’all but if the cap fits ?????????????

Submitted by ( - )

Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 3:22 am

Proceed with sex!! (<:)

Reply from Ken Greenwald (Fort Collins, CO - U.S.A.)

Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 3:37 am

And the poor limey has only heard from the best educated southerners.

Reply from ( - )

Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 3:51 am

You come on the site insulting every one's intelligence and have the nerve to call your self an Englishman. Maybe an Englishman but definitely not a gentleman. You were doing fine until you started making assumptions about the regulars. The regulars you are knocking put a lot of effort and time to research and provide answers to legitimate posts. Sure at times humour is used and every one has fun but not on the expense of others but for the sake of learning. This site,I believe was intended for people who love language/s and use the site to share their knowledge.
Ahmed
BC Canada

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:05 am

Dear English Gentleman, .. what particular village did you come from in dear old Mother England ?? .. because it is entirely possible that the villagers down the road would not have the slighest idea of what you were saying if you spoke to them in your own peculiar regional dialect .. good lord man haven't you read Pygmalion or at the very least seen the movie My Fair Lady ?? .. I rest my case .. even in England there is no such thing as one "English" language, spoken, written or otherwise .. who was it that decreed that received pronunciation was the be all and end all of English as she is spoke !! .. geezuz cobs c'mon down ta Aus an we'll see if ya can unerstan some strine ..

Wizard of Oz, Australia. 11/06/03.

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:20 am

I think Professor Higgins put paid to our southland dwelling Brit in these lines from "My Fair Lady!"

". . . .An Englishman’s way of speaking absolutely classifies him,
The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him.
One common language I’m afraid we’ll never get.
Oh, why can’t the English learn to set
A good example to people whose English is painful to your ears?
The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
There even are places where English completely disappears.
In America, they haven’t used it for years!
Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak?
Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their Greek.
In France every Frenchman knows his language fro “A” to “Zed”
The French never care what they do, actually, as long as they pronounce
it properly.
Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.
And Hebrews learn it backwards, which is absolutely frightening.
But use proper English you’re regarded as a freak.
Why can’t the English,
Why can’t the English learn to speak?"

Leif, WA, USA

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:34 am

For an Englishman who has found home in a Southern Gentleman's culture, you certainly seem to enjoy wallowing in the mud.

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:49 am

Y'all are funny.
Hey BC Canada. I never claimed to be a gentleman, just English. Just to prove it, "Please return my socks from under your moma's bed" And, such news, they educate these southerners. Next you will be telling me that they are going to build a church in Charlotte. (For those who have not been to Charlotte, the pre-incarceration homestead of Jim & Tammy Fae, this town is not just the Bible belt; it is the belly button of the Bible belt)
To the wizard. I have been down there. What a beautiful, wondrous, friendly, unbigoted continent you have. Unlike the colonies, cultured from not very gentleman like limeys. They did a great job. I actually bought a pint in McDonalds whilst there.
p.s. Do you know why they don't make love while standing in the South ?............................ Because someone might think they are dancing.
See Y'all and Y'all come back now, y'hear.

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:03 am

B.C. Take a powder

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:17 am

Pretty sad state of affairs if this is the only way you can prove to be an Englishman. I guess this personal characterization of yourself is possibly a true self portryal of your upbringing.They must be very proud of you.
From where you are; being "down there" is a very popular recreation for you in Charolotte. You might have visited Down Under but you obviously only walked on one side of the street and failed to notice some of the racial issues in that country. How could you if you were enjoying that pint at Ronny's.
Ahmed
BC Canada

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:32 am

When camel humping comes up we will welcome your input.

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:46 am

Ahmed. Is that a name or an action

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 6:01 am

Camel humping, this must be referenced to Ahmed.

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 6:15 am

Who is we? I have already been welcomed by the people that count the most on this site.You on the other hand have contributed far less;apart from your fascination with camels. Go visit you local zoo.
Ahmed
BC Canada

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Archived Reply · Post by **Archived Reply** » Fri Sep 10, 2004 6:29 am

Last sentence should read -go visit your local zoo.
Same as above.

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