gelid immolation

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gelid immolation

Post by gdwdwrkr » Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:41 pm

What, you have received the first two installments.
And just who said she was 21st-century???
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gelid immolation

Post by NogaNote » Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:25 am

Was Dr. Scholl making orthopaedic shoes in the 18th century? Were there asphalt and semi-trailers in the 18th century? Moreover, were there zippers in the 18th century?
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gelid immolation

Post by gdwdwrkr » Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:01 am

Asphalt is older than dirt. Prototypic zippers, 19th-century. I think there was a Scholl on Market street in Philadelphia, cobbling custom clogs colonially. The rest is 20th-century.
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gelid immolation

Post by zmjezhd » Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:13 am

The American podiatrist, Dr William Scholl flourished during the 20th century.
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gelid immolation

Post by NogaNote » Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:42 am

The picture is beginning to swim into some focus. It's a Jane Austen mystery: an 18th century cabinetmaker is asked to make an 18th century cabinet for a family of seven characters, 6 females, one gentleman. As he comes to take measures for this enormous cabinet, the cabinetmaker is approached with some offer of refreshments by the comeliest parlour maid he has ever seen. They exchange some pleasantries and she happens to mention that her feet are killing her, from walking five miles every day up and down the stairs. "Why don't you buy some of those Dr. Scholl's Philadelphia Market street custom clogs?" Asks the CM as he sips his tea and munches on his hot-buttered crumpets. "I hear they are the very thing for the 5-mile-a-day waiters at St. James. What's good for the gander must be good for the goose". "Oh sir," cries the maid "I completely forgot. I have to prepare the gelid goose-feed or else Madam will have the vapours. It's what's for dinner this evening. We are expecting some haughty compamy. They'll be arriving on a semi- via the new asphalt dirt road." With this she ran out of the room, her "...gelid orbs immolated in a sapphire blaze..."

The forlorn cabinetmaker is left with his measuring tape and a fond memory of the fine intelligence in her beautiful eyes. "If only she hyphenated more," he sighs "If only... "
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gelid immolation

Post by Erik_Kowal » Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:56 am

Very cute, Noga! :-)

But alas, 18th-century parlour maids would often feel the lash of their mistresses' tongues if they tried to cut a dash...
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gelid immolation

Post by gdwdwrkr » Tue Apr 24, 2007 8:34 am

Excellent! You're hired as illustrator! :-)

I did expect you to go back, Michener-style,
and explain why dirt is older than asphalt...
but that's not your phalt.
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gelid immolation

Post by NogaNote » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:08 am

Why is rhyming
so contagious?
look at me:
I read a rhyme
and right away
I repond in kind!
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gelid immolation

Post by Meirav Micklem » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:00 pm

All this talk about shoes and waitresses is all very well, but what about the serious tragedy that has occurred here - poor Noga deprived of the joys of Jewish chicken soup! Have you thought of counselling or something? Are you seriously considering living the rest of your life without the joy of chicken soup with kneidlach? or with those lovely thin lokshen? mmmm....
Sorry, I'll get back to normal in a minute. It's just that description of the meal at Bloom's, it's got me all emotional.
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gelid immolation

Post by NogaNote » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:47 pm

As Erik correctly noticed, I misremembered Grant's description which was about "drinking her mother's amniotic fluid". It goes to show the extent of my mental shuddering at this imagery which my subconscious partly suppressed by downgrading it to "swimming in her mother's amniotic water". And even this was bad enough to put me off the chicken soup.

Actually, I found Linda Grant's article very therapeutic in another way. She happens to mention that she does not drive. I don't drive, either, a sad incompetence that is highly injurious to my self-esteem. To find out that there was an intelligent, middle aged woman who does not drive and relies on public transportation helped me in the way "Over Analyzers Anonymous" never did. I was no longer alone and weird. Here is another one who is just as weird as I.

So you see why I was also very interested in developing gdwdwrkr's idea of the the 5-mile-a-day shoe.
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