letter writing - declining a share of something

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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by shehu » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:29 pm

how do i decline a share offered to me in a letter
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by dalehileman » Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:10 am

Forgive us, but a share of what? If we were sure what it was you'd like to decline, I'm sure at least some of us could suggest appropriate wording
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by Erik_Kowal » Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:58 am

Balarabe, here's how I very recently declined a share of 20 million US dollars that I was offered by one of your countrymen who calls himself MR OGORM <ogorm1@hotmail.com&gt I hope you are able to make use of some it:


Dear Mr Muu,

Thank you for your kind invitation for me to act as an honest partner in your efforts to launder $20 million through my bank account in order to assist you in defrauding the government and people of Nigeria of $8 million.

I regret to say that although in principle I am always keen to help a criminal in need such as yourself, I feel I have already done my good deed in this respect by lately assisting your compatriot and fellow-crook Miriam Abacha to do the same thing with her ill-gotten $45 million, an act of kindness for which she was magnanimous enough to reward me with a paltry $12 million of the proceeds. (Still, one should not permit oneself to be too greedy, should one! -- I am still fairly grateful for the cash.)

For you know, Ogor my old friend, when I think back to all those faxes, phone calls, plane trips, secret meetings in the Presidential Suite at the Lagos Hilton and the rather strenuous repeated 'interviews' with Mrs Abacha's bodyguards, I can quite honestly say that the prospect of repeating all that kind of thing so soon is just too, too tiring for me to contemplate right now. At present I would rather devote the vastness of my lethargies to squandering my barely-earned nest egg on superfluous but expensive gewgaws and the active pursuit of idleness, much as I imagine you are looking forward to doing once you have found an appropriate way to launder your own misappropriation. (Harvey Nichols, here I come! Or so I seem to hear you say!)

Incidentally, old fruit, perhaps you might be good enough to send me a few hints and tips on how I too can suck up an easy $20 million in 'consultancy fees' from the Nigerian government once I have run through the Abacha millions. You never know what new wheezes I may be ready to undertake in half a year or so from now!

Meanwhile, as one ogre to another, I wish you all the best in your nefarious enterprise. You are clearly on the right track.

And -- last of all -- may the patron saint of industrial-strength scamming, St. Enron, also smile beneficently on your venture. As I always like to say, one man's loss is merely another's gain, and what your fellow-Nigerians don't know about, they won't miss, eh? (After all, for most of humanity the game of life is just a zero-sum misadventure, is it not?) Equally, I will undertake to draw the attention of some high-level FBI talent scouts to your prowess in the formulation of a sound business plan. As you may know, they are always on the look-out for high-calibre individuals operating in the 'alternative economy'.

Illegitimately yours,

'Eureka'

MR OGORM <ogorm1@hotmail.com> wrote:
ATTENTION:Sir/Madam

I am Dr.Ogor Muu a former special adviser on petroleum and economic matters to the late Head of State Federal Republic of Nigeria General Sani Abacha. Because of my strategic position in the former Government,and also being a close confidant of the Head of State.I was able to acquire personally, the sum of$20,000,000.00USD (twenty Million United States Dollars) presently lodged in security company in Europe.

I made this money legally through "CONSULTANCY FEE" and Good Faith Fees" paid by foreign oil companies prior to Allocation of Deep Water Oil Blocks and other Lifting/prospecting Right.

Nigeria is the 6th largest Producer/Exporter of Crude Petroleum in the World.As you are probably aware Nigeria is prone to Political/Economic Instability,hyper Inflation, and among other problems,

I have therefore resolved to invest my money abroad, preferable in Real Estate Properties and Importation of Goods for safety and optimum returns on Investments.

However, straight transfer of this money into a bank abroad will present two major problems:

1. The tax incidence will be too high, as much as 40% of this money will go up in Taxes, Levies, Penalties etc.

2, As an Ex seviceman in a former military government on which the present democratic government of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo is fighting very hard to freeze the accounts of the men that served in the government of General, Sani Abacha. So as a result of Government deliberate restrictions on flight of capital Abroad.

The solution I had was to package the money in a Diplomatic IRONTRUNK BOXES tagged family persoanl luggage.This system is secret and the money is therefore untraceable. The system is used by most top Government officials in Nigeria to remove their fortunes to safety abroad. All I now need is a honest partner who can receive the money on my behalf and help me to invest it as I have mentioned. There is absolutely no risk in volved in this transaction as the money will be delivered to you in United States Dollars Bills. If you are interested in assisting me, get back to me for more detailed informations.

For your help and assistance in this transaction, you will receive 30% of total sum of the money in cash, 10% will be set aside to offset all expenses while the remaining 60% is for me. Finally, you should urgently email your personal phone and fax numbers for an easier means communication. Expecting to hear from you.You can get back to me with this email adress=( ogorm2@hotmail.com )

Best regards,

Dr.Ogor Muu.
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by haro » Tue Sep 13, 2005 11:08 pm

Erik, many thanks for opening my eyes. Miriam Abacha is still trying to get me involved, and she didn't even tell me that you already cashed those millions she is still promising to send me. Isn't she a bad girl?

By the way, it's always funny to learn that those utterly generous folks have chosen me among thousands of candidates because of my trustworthiness, yet they do not even know my name. "Dear Sir / Madam" - my ass.
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by dalehileman » Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:54 am

Erik that was fabulous, do it again
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by Erik_Kowal » Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:09 am

Well, Paul,

Forgive me for stating the blindingly obvious, but you clearly lack any common sense whatever -- indeed, I would go so far as to describe you by that somewhat coarse, but in your case particularly accurate, American epithet, "dumb ass".

For I am truly amazed that someone like you, who is presumably a sophisticated, educated person, would fail to recognise his own best interests in this instance. (Unless, of course, you gained your position primarily through nepotism, in which case I will be forced to cover my ears if you decide to come clean with me and confess that you slept with your boss's sister's son and had previously also engaged in a questionable joint venture with your country's Minister of Finance for the purpose of clearing alleged slum properties standing on Government-owned land surrounding Cotonou that were being inhabited by no more than 35,000 of your fellow-citizens, and that between you you then appropriated the land for a hotel, conference centre and mall development which you then sold to venture capitalists from Japan and Singapore for a tidy multi-million dollar profit with a retained 25% joint stake. -- But I digress.)

Plainly, the best solution for you would be to immediately resign your position at the bank. Then, of course, you could act on your secret information without raising anybody's eyebrows, operating an illegal foreign account -- and may I say that your scrupulousness in this regard does you credit -- or creating the appearance of any conflict of interest. You would then be able to keep all $10.7 million without having to share it with any of the world's wired hoi polloi, such as myself. After all, an undiluted $10.7 million spent during a majestic early retirement will go pretty damned far in the squalid little country that you and your fellow liver flukes have helped to turn it into since you burrowed your way among the local power elites.

In all other circumstances I would have been only too happy to join with you in your vulturine pursuit of filthy lucre. My difficulty is that, lacking much faith in your judgment as to where your own best interests lie, I feel that little would be required in the way of unforeseen obstacles to divert you from your path of unrighteousness and thus bring about a compromising situation whose pecuniary outcome would ultimately satisfy neither one of us.

Get in touch with me again in another ten years, when you have retired and have a little more experience of life and savviness under your belt, and I'll see what alternative scheme we might be able to cook up. (Perhaps something in the white slave trade? But I bet you're quite the ideas hamster yourself! You pawky little devil!)

Yours in faithless reluctance,

"Eureka"

paulojo <paulojo@uku.co.uk> wrote:

MR.PAUL OJO
CEMAC BANK BENIN (ABB),
ACCOUNTING & AUDITING DEPARTMENT
COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN.
E-maiL. paulojo2004@parsimail.com

Dear Friend,
(CONFIDENTIAL)

I am MR. PAUL Ojo the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of CEMAC BANK COTONOU REPUBLIC OF BENIN in West Africa with due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.

During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on October 31st 2001 in a fierceful Auto-Crash along Midombo Togo express way with his family and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development.

Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution. The said amount was U.S $10.7m (Ten Million Seven hundred Thousand United States dollars).

Meanwhile, all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased, get the required approval and transfer this money to a foreign account has been put in place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist me and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity.

In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant(A Banker), we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank.

This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of oath to the Bank and also present a foreign account where he will need the money to be re- transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the whole money will be remitted from to your own designation bank account.

I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 5% will be set aside to take care of expenses that may arise during the time of transfer and also telephone bills, while 65% will be for me. Please, you have been adviced to keep "top secret" as I am still in service and intend to retire from service after I conclude this deal with you.

I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account, and ask me to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to invest in. All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when I hear from you.

I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible stating your wish in this deal. You can contact me on my private I look forward to your urgent reply.
Yours faithfully,

MR.PAUL Ojo.

Senior advocate of Benin(ABB).
PLEASE REPLY TO ALTHERNATIVE E-MAIL; paulojo2004@parsimail.com
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by Quail » Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:56 pm

Bravo! Well written...a good laugh; and thanks for the new(to me) word: pawky.
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by kagriffy » Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:57 pm

Gee, Erik, I would have thought the officials might want to see something like a picture ID, a birth certificate, or some other documentation to prove that you're the next of kin. Apparently, though, all you have to do is file an "affidavit" claiming to be the next of kin. ("It must be true: look, he signed an affidavit!") If it's that easy, why bother with all the international politics and foreign bank account? I think I'll just wait until Bill Gates dies and file an affidavit that I'm HIS next of kin! I recently got my Notary Public license, so I can even have my affidavit notarized (by myself, of course)!!!! You can't get more authentic than that! I'm going to start planning my early retirement now. I can hardly wait until "Uncle Billy" kicks the bucket!
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by Phil White » Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:31 pm

Can any of us?
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letter writing - declining a share of something

Post by Erik_Kowal » Thu Sep 15, 2005 4:39 am

Depends where he is at the time and what's in the bucket. Nobody in Chicago, Peshtigo or Holland, MI wants another great fire.
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