Need comments and suggestions on my translation

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Need comments and suggestions on my translation

Post by Archived Topic » Fri Dec 28, 2001 8:13 am

Hello you guys,

I am Philos from China.

I did a small Chinese-to-English translation job. It is about my school, but I am not sure if my translation is really okay. I just thought of posting my work here. I wish to hear your native speakers' comments and suggestions.

The following is part of my work:
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There are currently three senior grades in the school, including 50 classes with a total of 2629 students, and a staff of 220, among whom there are three first-level master teachers teaming well up with 57 senior teachers. With the guiding principle of ¡°All for Development of Our Students¡± and based firmly upon the educational concept of ¡°Take the Road of Inner Development¡±, the school features ¡°Active Developmental Education¡± which focuses on three ¡°Self¡¯s¡±, i.e. ¡°Self-cultivate Moral Character, Self-guide Study and Self-arrange Activities¡±.
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Thanks in advance

Philos from China




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Need comments and suggestions on my translation

Post by Archived Reply » Fri Dec 28, 2001 8:27 am

Hi Philos,

I'm sorry you had to encounter the previous postings.

Your English is not bad overall. I have rewritten your text as follows:

"There are currently three senior grades in the school comprising 50 classes with a total of 2629 students. The staff numbers 220, among them three first-level master teachers who have teamed up effectively with 57 senior teachers.

Under the guiding principle of ‘Everything [or ‘Everyone’, depending on the meaning of the original text] for promoting the development of our students’, which is firmly based on the educational concept of ‘taking the road of inner development’, the school features so-called ‘active developmental education’. This focuses on three ‘Selfs’, i.e. ‘Self-cultivation of moral character’, ‘Self-guided study’ and ‘Self-arranged activities’."

Reply from Erik Kowal ( - England)
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Need comments and suggestions on my translation

Post by Archived Reply » Fri Dec 28, 2001 8:41 am

Hi Erik Kowal,

Thank you for your helpful suggestions. I was not sure about wheter to use the imperative or verb -ing form to follow the "concept of" phrase and three "self's". Actually in my first draft I used "taking the road..." and thought of using "Self-cultivation of moral character¡¯, Self-guided study¡¯ and ¡®Self-arranged activities", but on a second thought, I was convinced that I should use the imperative to talk about a slogan-like policy.

Well, thanks to your corrections, now I know it was not the way native speakers phrase things.

I guess my grammar needs more improvements to enhance my language feeling.

Thanks again!

Oh, about that previous posting, it's okay with me. I guess people have to compain about things they dislike.

P.S.: Dear Erik Kowal, is it okay if I send a Chinese postcard to you as a token of my thanks.

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Need comments and suggestions on my translation

Post by Archived Reply » Fri Dec 28, 2001 8:56 am

I find it very frustrating I cannot correct the grammatical mistakes of my previous postings directly on the original.

Any suggestions?

Philos
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