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I am an 8th grade student at Marine View Middle School in Huntington Beach, California. For my Honors Literature/Language Arts class, I’m working on a research paper and visual presentation about brain tumors,
and am need for more information.
My presentation will include a written report on my subject, a panel presentation, and a PowerPoint presentation. If you would like I could send to you my PowerPoint presentation on a CD for your viewing enjoyment.
If you could send me information sometime before October 17th, that would be wonderful. Anything you can send would be helpful. Thank you for your time and concern.
Submitted by ( - )
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Grammatically this seems basically fine. The only thing that needs to be changed is 'and am need for more information', which should read 'and would like more information'.
You really should specify what kind of information you are after, however, and at what level of detail, since your request is so vague that you risk getting either this very same request for clarification, or being ignored entirely.
I would also suggest that you ask for the Director's suggestions about where you could obtain some of this information yourself so that it will not appear to him that you are in effect asking him to do your homework for you. (Have you tried entering the phrase "brain tumor" into a search engine like Google, for instance? I promise you will not be disappointed! Incidentally, 'tumor' is spelt 'tumour' in British English - for comprehensive results, try the search using this spelling also.)
Reply from Erik Kowal ( - England)
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