i hate you

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i hate you

Post by Archived Topic » Thu Dec 20, 2001 10:51 am

You are the most annoying little rodent i have ever met. i wish you would just disappear. Your ignorance sickens me, and your idiocy appals me. I hope you rot.
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i hate you

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 11:05 am

Was this to be a formal letter, or did you wish to keep it informal. This is very important when writing such letters. First of all, please run it through a spell checker to trim most of the apparent errors out of it. Then I would suggest that you address it to a specific rodent, as a generic letter to "a" rodent will probably not arouse the reaction you desire. You have a good, snappy introductory sentence, but your second sentence leaves it unclear as to where you would like this particular rodent to disappear. The wishing aspect is a bit weak and perhaps you might suggest some ways for said rodent to accomplish this desired disappearance. Simply hoping for the target rodent to rot places the matter in a very uncertain time frame particularly if only entropy is employed. A quicker dissolution might be desired; and therefore, different sources and methods might be suggested. This is your letter and you need to take firm control of the issue so as not to cause any confusion on the part of the recipient rodent. Mind, these are only suggestions and you may do with them what you wish, e.g., place it in a murky place where the best efforts of Sol are thwarted. Good luck and thanks for using Public Scribe!
Reply from Leif Thorvaldson (Eatonville - U.S.A.)
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i hate you

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 11:20 am

Leif, might one suggest that (-) may perhaps have been using metaphor and that possibly the addressee might not be an actual rodent after all? I know this possibility may sound quite far fetched, but I think it is still worth exploring. One can, for instance, imagine this letter being compiled by a spurned lover, or by a secretary to her/his boss.

It is an interesting letter in any case, quite punchy, but the ending is, I agree, lacking a certain je-ne-sait-quoi. One gets the feeling that the writer may have been interrupted mid sentence. Perhaps he/she has been shot by the ex-lover or boss as he/she was typing away. Maybe we should call the internet police.
Reply from Meirav Barkan (London - England)
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i hate you

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 11:34 am

Leif, I applaud your methodology. Our chum (__!__) cannot fail to succeed in constructing a persuasive message if he/she diligently follows your suggestions.

What remains absent, though, is a clear reason for ( @ )'s antipathy. There are many idiots and ignoramuses in existence, even annoying ones, but I don't have the energy to loathe them all. ("How do I hate thee? It is just a phase...")

So, ( - ), why don't you consolidate our suggestions and come back here with the results?

Even a Word Wizard appreciates a bite of feedback now and again.
Reply from Erik Kowal (Reading - England)
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i hate you

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 11:49 am

This is my first visit to your site and must I say (wait, i've stopped typing. I'm at a loss for words.). What are you guys? A bunch of out of work Composition professors? I will have to show this site to my daughter. She's taking Comp this fall and will surly beneift from your wisdon.

Hey (-), print what you wrote. It's from the heart. Then burn it, wad it up and throw it away along with the hatred you feel for this person and get on with your life! You need counseling, not letter writing advice.

Leif, ever seen Monty Python's Life of Brian? There's a scene with "Brian" and John Cleese that reminds me of you. And, with emotions that strong flowing so freely, it's hard to remember spell check.

Meirav, let me guess your last profession--spurned secretary? Semantics, dear!

How's that for feedback?

-Tex
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i hate you

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 12:03 pm

Dear X,
You are the most sickening, despicable, evil red-eyed gnawing, chewing, scurrying little rodent I have ever laid eyes on in my entire existence. I wish that you would just evaporate into thin air, go back to hell where you came from, dissapear from my life as if you had never existed in the first place so I could just pretend you never happened. Your ignorance makes me want to puke all over my nice clean carpets and your complete idiocy appalls me. I hope you rot, but I don't think you could even be used for fertilizer, because nothing could grow within a hundred mile radius of your disgusting remains.
Sincerely,
Z
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i hate you

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 12:17 pm

Come on guys,
shes talking about her pet hampster!
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