a humorous communication, is it humorous?

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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Topic » Thu Dec 20, 2001 3:53 am

Hi, I'm new to this. I wake up in the night with bizzare things going through my head. I've started writing them down. Should I quit? =0)

Dear Friends, Jan. 21, 2000

There are times when I am quite sure I am STARK RAVING MAD! I want to kick, scream, cry, and run as far away from here as possible. I find myself plotting my disappearance. It would have to be a clever plan, so as never to be discovered! I think about jumping into the car and driving away into the vast dark night. I would only stop only occasionally for fuel and a bite to eat. I’d drive until the tires fell off the car. Then I might walk for a couple of days, to be sure I was far enough away from fighting kids, never ending debt, the frustration of not being appreciated, and the inability of making everything come together.
Perhaps I could start a home for temporarily insane mother’s. I’m sure I could make quite a comfortable living, if I put together the right atmosphere. First off, it would have to be very inexpensive for the TIM’s, (Temporarily Insane Mother’s) or at least they would think it was, so as not to cause additional guilt. I’m sure if I got the right attorney I could raise funds from families for the return of the Dear Mother’s. (Certainly after a couple of weeks, their home would be in such a disarray, any fee would seem reasonable for their Mother/Wife’s return.) The Home its self would be a paradise for the TIM’s, each guest would have a spacious bedroom with a big comfortable bed and it’s own private bath. It would be stocked with scented oils, bubble baths, candles and a nice pair of comfy flannel P.J.’s. A snack bar stocked with every imaginable treat, of course would be standard issue. Each room would have a window seat with a beautiful, peaceful view. As each guest may have their own idea of what peaceful is. I would have to situate this "Home" near a forest with a stream trickling, near an ocean, near a quaint country village, and finally near an up scaled mall. That way depending on the TIM’s particular taste they could request a room with said view. Finding the ideal location maybe a bit of a challenge, but for the sanity of Mother’s all over the world, it’s a challenge I feel I must undertake!
There would be no scheduled activities. Outings could be promptly arranged to fit any need. A complete "chick flick" video library would be available for group, or private viewing, depending on the severity of needed seclusion. For the severely afflicted TIM’s a steady stream of Hot Cocoa would be readily at hand and any other pampering provision kept in stock! A wide variety of books would line the library walls, in an attempt to accommodate any possible taste.
Possible outings could include: 1. A quiet walk along side a babbling brook, (a comfort to hear something that actually is supposed to babble). 2. A lazy day sunning on a white sandy beach, (never having to worry how on earth you were going to get all the sand off before it was track into the new carpet). 3. A trip into the village to shop at the quaint antique shops, (without the dreaded fear that your three year old will get loose and break a 150 year old vase). 4. A shopping spree at the swankiest shops in the mall, (never once worrying whether you could afford the most impractical of objects).
Activities the "Home" has to offer would be virtually limitless. We could offer the pampering of a health spa, or the indulgence of a chocolate fondue party. There could be exchange times offered, a time to air the dirty laundry that brought about the lapse into temporary insanity. Dressing for a gourmet dinner could be optional activity. Of course there can be as much or as little interaction as necessary to facilitate the TIM’s recovery to a degree of sanity at which she feels comfortable to returning to her "Life".
As a measure of security, a TIM may have her phone calls screened. At no time should a TIM hear the words, "Mom, can I.....", unless of course she has recuperated to the degree that those words no longer send her spasmodically into a fetal position. It will be the specific design and goal of the "TIM Home" to validate, commiserate, and alleviate the feelings that lead each guest to her emotional/mental status. Every effort would be made to promote a timely healing.... regardless of how long it takes!! (With emphases on long.)
As it seems very likely that more than one of these "Homes" will be needed to accommodate all of walking wounded out there, perhaps I will have to franchise. In all likelihood it would be advisable to have one "TIM Home" per state. It would not surprise me to find that this is a worldwide epidemic, and therefor may be a need for such "Homes" on international bases.
There are many aspects of this venture I have not addressed, or fully considered. I do feel however, that the idea is sound. I think this is a need that has not been adequately met in today’s society. That is why you are receiving this letter. I am officially putting out feeler’s. I am looking for feedback, or perhaps simply validation! Your input on this subject would gladly be welcomed.
As I close this communication it is with warm wishes for better mental health for all the mother’s of the world.
Sincerely,
Kim Jones

PS I hope this makes you smile. It made me feel better just writing it!

Submitted by Kim Jones (Blackfoot - U.S.A.)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 4:08 am

Dear Kim,
My stay at your home is long overdue. Of course because I suffer temporary insanity some days I feel that my life is absolutely fine and wonderful and would therefore probably check myself out and back into my current existence. It would however be comforting just to know one had the option of checking back in whenever one's hormones made it feel absolutely necessary. As for the kids, debt, lack of appreciation thing, I have some disturbing news: I used to think we were all individuals with unique and individual lives; with experience I have learned we are all connected and living the same lives with the order of the chapters rearranged slightly in order to give us the feeling of individuality and uniqueness. The comforting part of this is knowing without a doubt that you are not alone! Remember when you truly are INSANE you will be unaware that something is wrong or stressful or even that there is something to escape from, you'll just sit and smile and twiddle your thumbs and toes and you'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats, with the chirping birds and the basket weavers, etc., etc. When the TIM opens, remember to book my stay - Thanks, Love and Light!
Reply from Sabine Harmann (Elkhorn, WI - U.S.A.)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 4:22 am

Dear Sabine, Thanks for your reply. It's always
a comfort to me to know that someone out there knows
what the heck I'm talking about! =0) I'll keep a room
reserved in your name, on the house of course! Thanks!
Reply from Kim Jones (Blackfoot - U.S.A.)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 4:37 am

Hmmm... indeed one has to wonder whether this was written in jest or not. It did make me smile though. What drove me temporarily insane whilst reading (thus making me a TIW) was your dreadful apostrophe abuse - I'm sure there are clinics...
I wish you all the best in your endeavours to improve the life of mothers everywhere - a most worthwhile task indeed!
Reply from Meirav Barkan (London - England)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 4:51 am

Meirav, It appears you are absolutely correct. I can only plead TI. Hopefully you will forgive me for inadvertently causing to you slip into TIW episode and take in consideration my state of mind at the time. ( Or absence of mind!) I pounded it out so quickly and perhaps what I really need is a clinic.... for the Habitually Abusive Punctuators! Thanks for your input! =0) ( I also like exlcamation points!)
Reply from Kim Jones (Blackfoot - U.S.A.)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 5:05 am

Meirav, It appears you are absolutely correct. I can only plead TI. Hopefully you will forgive me for inadvertently causing to you slip into TIW episode and take in consideration my state of mind at the time. ( Or absence of mind!) I pounded it out so quickly and perhaps what I really need is a clinic.... for the Habitually Abusive Punctuators! Thanks for your input! =0) ( I also like exlcamation points!)
Reply from Kim Jones (Blackfoot - U.S.A.)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 5:20 am

That's okay Kim, I can assure you the TIW episode was not of the severe kind and did not result in any violence towards people or even objects, i.e. no harm done!

Exclamation marks are quite fun!!! (Do Americans call them "points"? how cute!)

btw, why don't you pop into the Clubhouse now and again - that's where the real action is.
Reply from Meirav Barkan (London - England)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 5:34 am

Easy for you to say, Meirav! You are always off on holidays!! No action from your side in a long time!!!
Reply from Leif Thorvaldson (Eatonville - U.S.A.)
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a humorous communication, is it humorous?

Post by Archived Reply » Thu Dec 20, 2001 5:49 am

What was that line about brevity and wit?
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