Page 1 of 1


Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 10:59 pm
I have often enjoyed writing imaginary slogans for non-existent businesses. Perhaps some of you might enjoy persuing this game also. Here are some of my slogans with their respective business:

Public Library: "Help us paint the town READ."

Church sign: "We need singers. En-choir inside."

Podiatrist's sign: "If you foot the bill, we will get you back on your toes. (We may be corny but when you leave, you won't be!)

Marriage counselor: "We can help solve your mid-wife crisis."

Bakery: "Give us your dough and we will give you ours."

Shoe repair shop: "We get to the sole of the matter."

Car Wash: "Tired of being rebuffed? Come to us for the perfect brush off."


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:55 am
by christinecornwall
Carpenter: I can screw up something well?
Dentist: I'll fill your cavities and put a hole in your wallet?
Mechanic: I'll fix your ding for a lot less bling or caching?
Private school: We've got the most class in town?
Want ad for a private school teacher: We give less cash but you'll have less class?
Smaller private school: We've got less class?
Proctologist group: We're on a roll with fixing holes?
Psychiatrist: I'll shrink your head and your wallet?
Plumber: I love to lay pipe?
OK someone stop me!!!!!


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:23 am
by Erik_Kowal
Airline: Getting it up 700 times a day is the easy part.

Astrologer: Per ardua ad catastrophe.

Baker: We employ early risers.


Barber: Your throat. Our razor.

Barbarian: We are an equal-opportunity destroyer.

Bouncer: Do you feel lucky?

Bungee-jumping company: We don't keep you in suspense.

Butcher: We make both ends meat.

Candle store: We don't burn ours at both ends.

Cat owners' club: Just say no to dogs.

Coffee shop: It's a daily grind.

Dentist: You know our drill.

Surgeon: Your pain, my gain.

Electrician: We'll remove your shorts.

Faith healer: You believe us. Thousands don't.

Furniture store: Tomorrow's antiques TODAY.

Gym: Don't walk out. Work out.

Hotel chain: Our customers have no reservations.

Meteorologist: We're sometimes right.

Midwife: New deliveries daily!

Mime artist:

Mohel: We use only cutting-edge technology.

Newspaper: Like the internet, but minus all the porn.

Oil company: It pays to be greasy and slick.

Postal service: We try not to lose it.

Tanning salon: We darken your likeness.

Undertaker: We kill you with kindness.

U.S. Republican Party: Just say no.


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:29 am
by Phil White
Genuine sign seen in a chemist in Munich:
"We dispense with efficiency."


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:10 pm
by Bobinwales
Erik, mime artist - brilliant

Old fashioned radio operator --/---/.-./.../.


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:46 pm
by Phil White
Proctologist group (again): Work charged on a per anum basis


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:15 pm
I agree with Bobinwales. ERIK_KOWAL's mime slogan is brilliant. (And so succinct!)

Here are a few more of my slogans:

Psychologist: "We can help you stay Jung at heart."

Music Store: "Stay tuned."

Church: "Come in and pray a while."

Book Store: "We do a volume business."

And then here is an actual sign for a Chinese catering service: "We rice to the occasion!"


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:21 pm
by Phil White
Garlic farmer: Halitosis is better than no breath at all


Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:45 pm
by trolley
Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:36 pm
by Shelley
Outright, prolonged laughter!

Mohel (again): Everything 20% off.


Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:34 pm
by trolley
...and again:
"A cut above the rest"
"It won't be long, now"
BTW... is it customary to leave these guys a tip?


Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:47 am
by Phil White
Skin cancer clinic: Life's a beach and then you come to us


Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:53 am
by Erik_Kowal
Brothel: Please, please come again!

Children's millinery store: Hats for brats.

Marijuana grower: Enjoy the high life!

Pendulum maker: We swing both ways.

Skyscraper construction company: Compare our massive erections!


Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:50 pm
by Bobinwales
Another Mohel: It's a snip at this price.


Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:58 pm
by slogans
Love your slogan examples guys. You have a great imagination and great command of the language.