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Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 10:59 pm
I have often enjoyed writing imaginary slogans for non-existent businesses. Perhaps some of you might enjoy persuing this game also. Here are some of my slogans with their respective business:
Public Library: "Help us paint the town READ."
Church sign: "We need singers. En-choir inside."
Podiatrist's sign: "If you foot the bill, we will get you back on your toes. (We may be corny but when you leave, you won't be!)
Marriage counselor: "We can help solve your mid-wife crisis."
Bakery: "Give us your dough and we will give you ours."
Shoe repair shop: "We get to the sole of the matter."
Car Wash: "Tired of being rebuffed? Come to us for the perfect brush off."
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:55 am
Carpenter: I can screw up something well?
Dentist: I'll fill your cavities and put a hole in your wallet?
Mechanic: I'll fix your ding for a lot less bling or caching?
Private school: We've got the most class in town?
Want ad for a private school teacher: We give less cash but you'll have less class?
Smaller private school: We've got less class?
Proctologist group: We're on a roll with fixing holes?
Psychiatrist: I'll shrink your head and your wallet?
Plumber: I love to lay pipe?
OK someone stop me!!!!!
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:23 am
Airline: Getting it up 700 times a day is the easy part.
Astrologer: Per ardua ad catastrophe.
Baker: We employ early risers.
Barber: Your throat. Our razor.
Barbarian: We are an equal-opportunity destroyer.
Bouncer: Do you feel lucky?
Bungee-jumping company: We don't keep you in suspense.
Butcher: We make both ends meat.
Candle store: We don't burn ours at both ends.
Cat owners' club: Just say no to dogs.
Coffee shop: It's a daily grind.
Dentist: You know our drill.
Surgeon: Your pain, my gain.
Electrician: We'll remove your shorts.
Faith healer: You believe us. Thousands don't.
Furniture store: Tomorrow's antiques TODAY.
Gym: Don't walk out. Work out.
Hotel chain: Our customers have no reservations.
Meteorologist: We're sometimes right.
Midwife: New deliveries daily!
Mohel: We use only cutting-edge technology.
Newspaper: Like the internet, but minus all the porn.
Oil company: It pays to be greasy and slick.
Postal service: We try not to lose it.
Tanning salon: We darken your likeness.
Undertaker: We kill you with kindness.
U.S. Republican Party: Just say no.
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:29 am
Genuine sign seen in a chemist in Munich:
"We dispense with efficiency."
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:10 pm
Erik, mime artist - brilliant
Old fashioned radio operator --/---/.-./.../.
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:46 pm
Proctologist group (again): Work charged on a per anum basis
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:15 pm
I agree with Bobinwales. ERIK_KOWAL's mime slogan is brilliant. (And so succinct!)
Here are a few more of my slogans:
Psychologist: "We can help you stay Jung at heart."
Music Store: "Stay tuned."
Church: "Come in and pray a while."
Book Store: "We do a volume business."
And then here is an actual sign for a Chinese catering service: "We rice to the occasion!"
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:21 pm
Garlic farmer: Halitosis is better than no breath at all
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:45 pm
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:36 pm
Outright, prolonged laughter!
Mohel (again): Everything 20% off.
Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:34 pm
"A cut above the rest"
"It won't be long, now"
BTW... is it customary to leave these guys a tip?
Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:47 am
Skin cancer clinic: Life's a beach and then you come to us
Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:53 am
Brothel: Please, please come again!
Children's millinery store: Hats for brats.
Marijuana grower: Enjoy the high life!
Pendulum maker: We swing both ways.
Skyscraper construction company: Compare our massive erections!
Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:50 pm
Another Mohel: It's a snip at this price.
Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:58 pm
Love your slogan examples guys. You have a great imagination and great command of the language.