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** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:49 am
by Erik_Kowal
The object of this challenge is to produce some limericks that relate to the current affairs of the day, whether in politics, entertainment, science or anything else.

Bitchy, satirical, unfair and opinionated limericks are not just OK, they're expected. If you have to be crude or scurrilous to clinch a zinger, don't hang back. (Please do include a link to a related news story or other source if you think the context could be obscure enough to need explaining.)

The main thing is that your limericks should both be funny and scan reasonably well. If you're doubtful, check the the way the rhythm sounds by reading your limerick out loud before you commit to it. I can't stress the value of this too highly.

If you're a little hazy about what exactly a limerick consists of or how to write one, here's a useful summary.

A couple of other sites that might be handy:

http://www.rhymezone.com (find rhyming words or phrases)

http://www.wordweb.com (combined dictionary and thesaurus)

Here's one of mine to start us all off:

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Said the elephant herd to the ass,
"Whatever you write we won't pass;
We're stubborn and crazy
And selfish and lazy,
And who doesn't love a morass?"

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:44 am
by Edwin F Ashworth
A challenge to write some new limericks
Was thrown out to a bunch of word mavericks.
But if you get in a bind,
Just bear this in mind -
This whole thing is no more than a whim - Erik's.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:37 am
by Erik_Kowal
Yes, but I have a whim of irony.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:03 pm
by PhilHunt
I'll have a stab at your challenge Erik. :)

Kyrgyzstan's president just will not quit,
As the streets were flooded with red.
Which brings to my mind,
An Auspergerian kind,
Who got in on the shirt tails of a git.

Poor Gordon Brown,
More despised than the crown,
More hated than Bush wiping off blacks.
But come the election,
The only insurrection,
Will be Mandelson stabbing him in the back.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:31 am
by Edwin F Ashworth
MPs (first) homes are their castles
Where they eat, drink and devise us new hassles.
Yet they demand from us votes
And funds to clean moats -
We're regarded as modern-day vassals.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:47 am
by Erik_Kowal
Imagine that when Gordon Brown
Is beating his office staff down
With spittle and ranting
And swearing and panting;
He's smiling, except upside-down.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 11:25 am
by PhilHunt
The elections are just round the bend,
Histrionic pencil pushers revenge.
They promise such and such,
But when push comes to shove,
All we get is short changed yet again.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 11:45 am
by PhilHunt
The victims of Pompeii are put on display,
No I don't mean the fans of the club
Though facing the abyss,
I wouldn't dismiss,
A Fratton Park Body Worlds plug.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:55 pm
by Erik_Kowal
The public should know how else Gaynor
Might characterize truer and plainer
The dick-endsian tool
And the G.O.P. mule,
The minority leader, John Boehner.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 8:57 pm
by Edwin F Ashworth
I've got it.
Erik's a spy, and his limericks are new takes on spotted daws landing at Cowes.
If I've worked out his messages correctly, Tony Blair is standing for Pope. President. Caesar. Doge. Mandelson. And next Manager of Man U.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 9:39 pm
by mfpyramus
I wish I'd known about this board sooner... I've challenged myself with this exact challenge since, oh, December of last year, to write a topical limerick every day. I'm doing so at topicallimerick.com. Some purists here may take issue with how I occasionally play with the meter, but I'd appreciate any feedback!

Here's today's:

Tiger Woods did a new spot for Nike,
Which does kind of baffle the psyche,
To the parody versions,
Which reveal perversions,
I have nothing to say but, “me likey!”

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 11:03 pm
by Erik_Kowal
Welcome to Wordwizard, Michael/mfpyramus. I hope you'll enjoy exploring and contributing to this site. :-)

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 11:14 pm
by Edwin F Ashworth
Captain Spaulding was considered bananas,
Claiming credit in improbable dramas.
He was certified mad
After claiming he had
Killed a pachyderm that had misappropriated his night-attire.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 8:51 am
by Wizard of Oz
Tiger Woods has a great long game,
His holes-in-one put others to shame,
When he putts for the hole
Be it on a green or a moll
The result is always the same.

Along came Nike company spin
We'll tell 'em you never put it in
We''ll do an ad with your dad
Just stand and look sad
Then go off to Augusta and win

WoZ spinning for par

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:31 am
by Erik_Kowal
A tea party used to be fun,
We behaved as though all were as one;
Today, goodwill's scanter --
The ignorant ranter
Far rather likes waving his gun.