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Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Wed May 12, 2010 12:01 am
by Edwin F Ashworth
HEAVY METAL

A middle-aged father told how he
Took his kids, once, to hear David Bowie.
But his oldest child, Louis,
Said he preferred Lester Bowie,
While Zoë and Chloë also stuck the knife in.


A PRONOUNCED IMPROVEMENT

The gardener of note, Mister Lear,
Went to the nursery with his sister; here
They'd hidden the tarmac
Beneath sumac and lilac
And the fence with an old wisteria.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Wed May 12, 2010 11:42 am
by Edwin F Ashworth
"What we need, Nick, to govern the nation
Is a loose Lib-Con confederation!"
"Sorry, Dave, that's a no -
There's only one way to go - - -
Hang on a minute, I've lost my notes."

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 11:12 am
by Wizard of Oz
Tweedledum and Tweedledee were two demented brothers,
David Cameron and Nick Kleg our new political mothers,
A union of disparit parts
Knaves with very different tarts,
One wonders if they'll ever be consumated lovers.

WoZ the Aussie knave

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 11:38 am
by Wizard of Oz
This is not a limerick but merely a rhyme written with apologies to Lewis Carroll.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Joined forces to do battle!!
With the rabble of the left
And their comradish prattle.

These two unlikely generals
Went forth in to the field.
They demanded rightfully
That the left should yield.

The case was taken to herself
Up at the Windsor Castle,
"We have a mandate from the people
To dismiss this laborious rascal!"

Just then flew down a monstrous crow
All red and white and blue.
It squawked out loud for all to hear,
"I think we're in the poo!!"


© WoZ looking in the mirror

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 10:30 am
by Wizard of Oz
A British oil company named BP
Drilled a hole way under the sea
The aim of their toil
Was to collect all the oil
But alas they only caused catastrophe

WoZ on drill drill drill, spill spill spill

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:42 am
by christinecornwall
I was meaning to write a limerick about this. Glad you've done it so well.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:43 am
by Erik_Kowal
You and WoZ both seem to have the drill bit between your teeth these days, Christine.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:21 pm
by Wizard of Oz
From Barry in Wales she did come,
To the land of surf, sex and sun,
She became Prime Minister,
After dealings very sinister,
Now the political fun has begun.

So goodbye to dear Kevin Rudd,
Who became a political dud,
Speaking fluent Mandarin,
Didn't help him stay in,
The floor is stained with his blood.

(The elevation of Julia Gillard to be Prime Minister of Aus to replace Kevin Rudd.)

WoZ who is not impressed

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:54 am
by christinecornwall
Bloomberg ordered the flags at half mast
The Boss of Baseball has passed
Championships, he has seven
He’s managing baseball in heaven
I’m sure Billy Martin’s now getting harassed

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:33 pm
by Wizard of Oz
A flight attendant named Slater,
Became a passenger hater,
He grabbed a beer,
Said, "I'm outa here!"
And slid down the emergency inflator.

Ref: see trolley's post in Word Origins & Meanings

WoZ a Slater supporter

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:17 pm
by Edwin F Ashworth
produce some limericks that relate to the current affairs of the day

I have done a spot of gardening.

You should never try prodding a buffalo
With the business end of a scuffle hoe.
Oh, all right, you're not bound to
Die in the encounter -
You'll never forget the kerfuffle, though.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks. My contribution.

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 7:49 am
by vacpacker1
Well, the recent flap over the nude pictures of Kate Middleton most likely about to have sex with her husband is not really an occasion for humor. The incident is offensive, and actually sad for the people involved. (And it's ridiculous that the Palace is suing the magazines because it's too late to stop these pictures as they are probably on 100,000 websites by now.) I think the extent to which someone's privacy can be invaded nowadays is horrendous, and I'm glad I'm not a celebrity. But what the heck, the universe is laughing behind everyone's back, so here goes. Any topic is fair game for a limerick.


Will and Kate made a dreadful mistake
When they tried to have sex on the deck
For the extra long lens
Did what truly offends
I’m afraid that those pictures aren’t fake.

Will and Kate made a dreadful faux pas
Caught on film doing, well.... "la de da"
Since they're royals, you could cry,
Nowhere's safe from a spy
Be it bedroom, or boudoir or spa.

You would think there's a hidden chateau
Where a princess can sport with her beau,
But those damn paparazzi
Are worse than the Nazis
Is there anywhere private to go?

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:28 am
by Erik_Kowal
Wills and Kate were away from their clan,
Taking time out to work on their tan.
At the sight of Kate's baps
Off popped some lens caps --
Soon after, the shit hit the fan.

The directory lists Romney, Mitt --
A tin-eared, insuff'rable twit.
Some claim he's a phoney
Who peddles baloney --
I say, he's just full of shit.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:56 am
by Edwin F Ashworth
I thought Sherlock was supposed to stop all this sort of thing.

Re: ** Challenge: Topical limericks

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:38 am
by Erik_Kowal
You must be thinking of Ideal Holmes. He's always making an exhibition of himself.