Tom Swifties

[christinecornwall]

So it turns out I must order the 'deluxe' merriem webster package to find the 'spooner' entry. It turns out I'm more cheap than curious. I'm holding out my coffee cup, can anyone fill it spoonerly?

[trolley]

OK, I'll kill your fup. I'll spill it, foonerly.
These are examples of "Spoonerisms":
"Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (dear old queen, referring to Queen Victoria)
"Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" (customary to kiss)
"The Lord is a shoving leopard." (a loving shepherd)
"A blushing crow." (crushing blow)

[christinecornwall]

Thanks. I have heard of Spoonerism, and perhaps would have had more luck looking THAT up! Thank you very mucking fuch!

[Erik_Kowal]

Thank you very mucking fuch!

I detect a forkerism.

[PhilHunt]

"If you vote for us, we will be the party that you voted for." said Mr. Clegg elliptically.

[BTW: glad you enjoyed my pun Christine]

[Edwin F Ashworth]

"We need to think of a better moniker than Mackie Messer," said Marc Blitzstein, cuttingly.

[Edwin F Ashworth]

"It's not Western Music!" stated the composer, tellingly.

"I think you'll like my latest work!" boomed Pachelbel.
"And mine," added JS airily.
"What about mine!" exploded Handel.
"Don't forget my opera," begged John Gay.
"I've written a couple of nice suites," added Grieg, bowing to peer pressure.
"And I've finally completed the lyrics for Dr Doolittle!" roared, grunted, bleated, hissed, snorted and chirruped Leslie Bricusse.
"My final symphony will astound the critics": Beethoven added his voice to the proceedings.
Then Berlioz named his recent work.
The composer of Pictures at an Exhibition remained, by contrast, modest.

"Of course I can manage Borodin's quartet unaccompanied!" dissembled Paganini.

"Just because ignoramuses cannot access it doesn't mean it's not music!" he claimed cagily.
Al Jolson retorted succinctly.

"I next intend to write a fantasia on BACH!" announced Reger after he had composed himself.

"I need a partner who can dance!" maintained Fred gingerly.
"When you find one, I've got a piece for you," cut in Khachaturian.

"The lift's just gone," regretted its inventor's daughter.

[Wizard of Oz]

"Hold the lift!" called Miss Berlei as she bounced through the foyer.

Sagging WoZ

[Phil White]

"I can't speak, I've got a mouth full of pasta," Tom mumbled fusilli.

[HHHPUZZLES]

"You will never hear a cross word from me," said the puzzle constructor.

[Edwin F Ashworth]

"And finally, in the United Kingdom, we have just one venomous snake," summed up Professor Bellamy.
"We shouldn't have had those shorts before we left Cairo!" panted Colonel Green.
"Actually, it does involve a turnip," wheezed Baldric.
"You keep putting the wrong accent on words," said her French teacher gravely.

[Edwin F Ashworth]

'The new residents are filthy brutes,' snapped Katie Croc hippocritically.

[Edwin F Ashworth]

"At last we've got a lock. Let's get the Captain up out of that hell-hole!" beamed Scotty.

"... ... ... and we're sure that there will be no similar environmental disaster in future operations," gushed the company spokesman.
"You can be sure of that!" added his CEO, slickly.

[Edwin F Ashworth]

"I hope Grandad doesn't buy me towels again this Christmas," said Elizabeth drily.
"You think you've got problems!" retorted Edwin, shirtily.

[Erik_Kowal]

That exchange sounds like a tie.