Around the World in Eighty Martinis

[p. g. cox]

I have just finished reading a delightful book called 'Around the World in Eighty Martinis' by Gavin Clark and Nicholas Jolly, published in 2003 by Fourth Estate. It is, of course, a spoof of 'Around the World in Eighty Days'.
Two English chaps/twits attempt the title feat in answer to a wager at their London Club. I found the whole thing most entertaining along with some quite amusing flowery language.
Worth a read in my book.

[Wizard of Oz]

.. do you get the receipes for the 80 martinins ?? .. or is a martini a martini is a martini no matter where it is made ..

WoZ being shaken .. not stirred .....

[p. g. cox]

Woz, Since you asked, yes although I didn't count them. And no; they are as varied as suits the part of the world from which they originate. For example, from Africa comes the Masai Martini.

The Masai whose sole food resource is their cattle, survive during arduous journeys by making small incisions in the leg of a bullock and draining off some of its blood to drink thereby sustaining themselves with this protein rich snack.
The Recipe: 4 parts cattle blood (preferably bullock), 3 parts vodka, 1 part Vermouth, 1 sheep's eyeball to garnish.
Note: In some cases the last two ingredients are omitted, making this cocktail, strictly a Bloody Mary.

By Robert of the American Bar, Casino Municipal, Nice
and late of the Embassy Club, London

Also for your entertainment is a piece from their visit to Australia. Under the title 'Let's Speak Aussie, Mate' is one example.

No need to come the raw prawn, mate, I'm no bushranger.
English translation:
Your hostile attitude is incommensurate with my social status, sir, for I am not the disreputable type you seem to take me for.

There are others equally hilarious so I hope this has whetted your appetite.