Coronavirus guidelines

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Coronavirus guidelines

Post by Erik_Kowal » Sat Apr 18, 2020 5:19 am

I'm passing on some useful guidelines that should clear up any confusion and misconceptions about the coronavirus:

1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one. Or maybe not, depending on where you live. It could save you, but it might not.

3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors: you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that it will sometimes lead to a global catastrophe.

6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes. Especially toilet paper, even though the virus is spread by aerosol, not arsehole.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no-one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. (Oh, my!)

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise to stay healthy. But you mustn't exercise for too long, or more than once a day, because that would be unhealthy.

13. On the other hand, you should eat whatever you have on hand, as it's better not to go out. (Except see above.)

14. It's better to get some fresh air, even though you'll get looked at funny when you do. Most importantly, you can't go to a park, even though that's the best place to get some fresh air if you live in a town, because if they 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 open there would be too many people getting fresh air at the same time, meaning the air there would no longer be fresh and could contain the virus. Except that some parks are still open anyway. But if they 𝘢𝘳𝘦 open, you mustn't sit down, except that you can do so if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

15. You can't go to retirement homes, but you need to take care of the elderly and bring them food and medication.

16. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

17. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to let your groceries decontaminate outside for 3 hours. That includes pizza boxes.

18. Almost every disturbing article or interview starts with "I don't want to trigger panic, but…"

19. You can't see your mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

20. You can walk around with a friend, but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.

21. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

22. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours – no, four – no, six – no, I didn't mean hours, but maybe it's days, depending on what kind of surface it is? But it needs a damp environment to linger. Or not necessarily.

23. The virus stays in the air - well, no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room. In one hour one sick person can infect ten others. So it is possible that all our children were already infected at their schools before they were closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, you should still be safe. However, in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, because studies show the virus can sometimes travel further, maybe.

24. We count the number of deaths, but we don't know how many people are infected by the virus, as we have so far only tested those who were "almost dead", to find out if that's what they'll die of.

25. The virus particularly stresses the lungs and heart. We have no treatment for this, except there is one drug that President Trump likes that might (or might not work), and is apparently not dangerous unless your heart is compromised by some sort of disease, because it causes irregular heartbeat and can trigger a heart attack. But it could still save you.

26. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity so that when it circulates among us we won't be affected… but we have to no longer be locked up for that to become possible.

27. The lockdowns will be eased or lifted when it is safe to do so. We'll know when that is because the rate of infection will be so low that the epidemic can't keep going. That's something we will find out from the testing for infections, using the test kits that we are desperately short of. In the meantime, until we get enough test kits, the politicians will make their best guess, depending on how soon they are standing for re-election and how badly the economy is doing because there aren't enough people working – though if a lockdown is lifted too early the epidemic will accelerate once more, and the economy will crash again anyway.

There, I think that should clear everything up.

You're welcome.

Re: Coronavirus guidelines

Post by trolley » Sun Apr 19, 2020 12:20 am

Finally, clarity.

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