Women Who Read

[Ken Greenwald]

One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her .

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment, for all I know you could start at any moment, I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"For reading a book," she replies.

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment, for all I know you could start at any moment, I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment, for all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL:

Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.
____________________________

Ken Greenwald - March 16, 2019

[Phil White]

Over to you, Shelley!

[Shelley]

Hah! Kind of like being asked to represent all the tribes of the world when you're the only indigenous soul in the room at the moment. The pressure mounts: what if I'm wrong? What if I make a mistake?

So, women love this joke, Phil. They love, especially, the word-for-word repetition of the setup, because it adheres to the magic rule of three, and underscores the clueless, uncreative nature of bureaucracy.

This is your Roving Reporter, Channel Femme News, back to you, Phil!

[Phil White]

what if I'm wrong? What if I make a mistake?

Don't be so bloody daft! Shelley doesn't make mistakes.

[Shelley]

Well, gee, I don't know what else you'd call them. Untenable alternatives?

P.S. Somehow, I like the old emoticons better . . . ;^)

[Phil White]

P.S. Somehow, I like the old emoticons better . . . ;^)

If it really bugs you:

• When you are logged in, click on your name at the top right and choose "User Control Panel"
• Click the "Board Preferences" tab
• Choose "Edit display options" on the left
• Set "Display smilies as images" to "No" and then click "Submit".

Apart from that, what might appear to be a mistake is merely an indication that reality has not yet caught up with you. It will.

[Shelley]

So, a mistake could be called a premonition of truth? A preemptive fact?

One thing life has taught me: all my worst mistakes will be revealed at the worst possible moment. Count on it.

I don't really mind seeing the emojis/smilies in my screen -- I just hesitate to choose them over the old keyboard configurations. Thanks for the tip, though.