Bill was given a parrot for his birthday.
The bird was fully grown, and came with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word it uttered was an obscenity. Those that weren’t expletives were rude, to say the least.
Bill tried hard to change the parrot’s attitude. He tried getting it to repeat polite expressions back to him. He tried rewarding it with a peanut whenever an hour went by without it swearing. He even tried playing it mellow music; in fact, he tried everything he could think of.
Yet nothing worked. So he yelled at the bird. The bird yelled back. Then Bill tried to startle it into submission, but it just got angrier and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Bill put the parrot in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard it squawk, and kick on the door, and scream — then suddenly there was silence.
Bill was afraid that he had injured his bird, and opened the freezer door.
The parrot quickly stepped out onto the floor of the kitchen and stood before Bill. “I believe I may have offended you with my impolite language and actions. I will endeavour at once to improve my behaviour. I really am truly sorry, and I beg your forgiveness”.
Needless to say, Bill was astonished at the bird’s sudden and dramatic change in attitude.
He was about to ask what had brought it about when the parrot continued: “May I ask what the chicken did to deserve its punishment?”
We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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