Quotes about politicians

We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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Quotes about politicians

Post by Erik_Kowal » Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:37 pm

I haven't checked the accuracy of the attributions in this list, but the quotes are pretty funny regardless of who said them:

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.—Henry Cate, VII

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.—Jay Leno

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.—Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.—Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.—Nikita Khrushchev

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.—Clarence Darrow

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.—Author unknown

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.—John Quinton

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.—Oscar Ameringer

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.—Adlai Stevenson, 1952 campaign speech

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.—Tex Guinan

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.—Charles de Gaulle

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.—Doug Larson

There ought to be one day—just one—when there is open season on Congressmen.—Will Rogers
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Re: Quotes about politicians

Post by Edwin F Ashworth » Wed Nov 05, 2014 4:30 pm

Groucho was arrested for less.
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End of topic.
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