A man wakes up in a hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
A doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the 407. You're going to be OK -- you'll walk again and everything -- but your penis was severed in the accident, and nobody could find it."
The man groans, but the doctor continues: "On the other hand, there is a bonus -- apparently, you'll have $9000 of insurance compensation for the loss of your manhood, and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. But while those work great, they don't come cheap. They're roughly $1000 an inch."
The patient perks up.
"So," the doctor continues, "you need to decide how many inches you want. But as I understand you've been married for over thirty years, it may be something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five-incher before and get a nine-incher now, she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and instead you decide to invest in just a five-incher, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you decide."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," replies the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes," says the man.
"So what did you decide?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite countertops".
We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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