One day John saw that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the back yard, usually clad only in a very skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. Straightaway he made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible in the hope of catching yet more close-up glimpses of those splendid hydraulic orbs.
One day he could stand it no more. Walking up to the front door of his new neighbours, he knocked and waited.
The husband, a large, heavily-built fellow, opened the door.
"Excuse me", John stammered, "I live next door, and I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife is."
"Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbour replied.
"Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could only kiss those marvellous creations."
The burly gorilla was on the point of decking the unfortunate admirer when his wife appeared behind him and caught him by the arm. She pulled him back inside, and for some moments John waited alone on the doorstep while they discussed his surprising offer.
Soon the couple returned and asked their neighbour to step inside.
"OK," the husband said gruffly, "for ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife's breasts."
At this the wife unbuttoned her blouse, and the twin objects of John's desire hung free at last. John took one breast in each hand and proceeded to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This went on for several minutes until the husband started to get distinctly annoyed. "Well, come on already, fella! Kiss 'em!" he growled.
"I can't," replied the awestruck cleavage connoisseur, still busily nuzzling away.
"Why not?" demanded the husband, the veins in his neck now bulging with barely-suppressed fury.
"I don't have ten thousand dollars."
We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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