Scottish thermal dynamics

We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
Post Reply

Scottish thermal dynamics

Post by Erik_Kowal » Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:03 am

50°F
People in southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

40°F
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

35°F
Cars in the south of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20°F
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a T-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

15°F
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

0°F
Life in the South grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-10°F
Life in the South ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-80°F
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-100°F
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
People in Perth put on their long johns

-173°F
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-297°F
Microbial life starts to disappear
The cows in Dumfriesshire begin to complain about farmers with cold hands

-460°F
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow through their fingers

-500°F
Hell freezes over
Scotsmen support England in the World Cup
Post actions:

End of topic.
Post Reply