A fellow was driving through the flat lands of Lincolnshire when he noticed a sign in front of a broken-down house: 'Talking Dog For Sale'.
He rang the bell. The owner appeared and told him the dog was in the back yard.
The man went around the back and saw a good-looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"So you can talk?" he asked.
"Yep," the Lab replied.
The man had to collect himself after the shock of hearing a dog speak. "So what's your story?" he asked at length.
The Lab looked him in the face and said, "Well, I was pretty young when I first discovered I could talk. I knew I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my abilities. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping on them.
'For eight years I was one of their most valuable spies. But the constant travelling was really tiring, and as I wasn't getting any younger I decided to settle down and do something less stressful. So I signed up for a job at Stansted airport doing undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
'Then -- long story short -- I got married, had a bunch of puppies, and now I'm just plain retired".
The fellow was amazed. He went back in the house and asked the owner what he wanted for the dog.
"Ten quid," replied the owner.
"Only ten pounds? That dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a bloody liar. He never did any of that stuff he told you".
We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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