Australian Citizenship Test 2007

We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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Australian Citizenship Test 2007

Post by paulwiggins » Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:25 am

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arrse"?
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2. What is a bloody little beauty??
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3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
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4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."
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5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
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6. Complete the following sentences:
a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
b) You're going home in the back of an ?
c) Fair crack of the ?
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7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
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8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
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9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
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10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
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11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
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12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
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13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
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14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
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15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
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16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
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17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
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18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?
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19. Who would you like to crack on to?
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20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
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21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
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22. What does sinkin p * ss at a mate's joint and getten para? mean?
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Australian Citizenship Test 2007

Post by Bobinwales » Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:47 am

WoZ, HELP!. There's a Kiwi I can't understand talking Aussie.
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Signature: All those years gone to waist!
Bob in Wales

Australian Citizenship Test 2007

Post by Erik_Kowal » Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:11 am

This must be the multiculturalism that everyone seems to be raving about nowadays.
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Australian Citizenship Test 2007

Post by Berale » Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:35 pm

This makes this sample of British citizenship test questions look quite reasonable. (Never thought I'd end up saying that!)
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Signature: Meirav
http://meirav.multiply.com

Australian Citizenship Test 2007

Post by paulwiggins » Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:48 am

Bobinwales wrote: WoZ, HELP!. There's a Kiwi I can't understand talking Aussie.
Did ya hraer about the Kiwi Mafia bloke .... he made people an offer they couldn't understand.
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