1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
-- Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her.
-- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters, then impress him by watering his flock.
-- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
-- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
-- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.
-- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.
-- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins off your future father-in-law's enemies and take his daughter for a wife.
-- David (I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
-- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
-- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a […] woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
-- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (However, prepare to lose four sons).
-- David (2 Samuel 11)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).
-- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
-- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
15. A wife?... NOT!!!
-- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
The top 15 biblical ways to acquire a wife
The top 15 biblical ways to acquire a wife
ACCESS_POST_ACTIONSSignature: -- Looking up a word? Try OneLook's metadictionary (--> definitions) and reverse dictionary (--> terms based on your definitions)8-- Contribute favourite diary entries, quotations and more here8 -- Find new postings easily with Active Topics8-- Want to research a word? Get essential tips from experienced researcher Ken Greenwald
The top 15 biblical ways to acquire a wife
I remember my favourite preacher putting in a word of encouragement for those who couldn't see the attraction of staying single for a while: "So Solomon had seven hundred wives. Seven hundred!
"Just think of all those mothers-in-law!"
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"Just think of all those mothers-in-law!"
The top 15 biblical ways to acquire a wife
Both what?
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The top 15 biblical ways to acquire a wife
wife and mother-in-lawErik_Kowal wrote: Both what?
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