Ozark words

We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
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Ozark words

Post by Debz » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:09 am

Here are some words and what they mean in our remote Ozark hills.

RAM- male sheep

Screen saver- thread you fix the hole in the screen door with, so the flies can't get in.

Hard Drive- bumpy road trip

software- long johns


I have more, but I can't remember them right off the bat.
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Ozark words

Post by haro » Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:45 am

Thanks Deborah. Here's an extended version:

1. LOG ON: Makin' a wood stove hotter.

2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.

3. MONITOR: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.

4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truck.

5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin' the farwood.

6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin' to carry too much farwood.

7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time.

9. PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.

10. WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.

11. SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's black fly season.

12. BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.

13. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.

14. MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.

15. MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.

16. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.

17. LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.

18. KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang them dang keys.

19. SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs.

20. MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.

21. MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.

22. PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
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Ozark words

Post by Debz » Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:43 pm

I love it!
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Ozark words

Post by krystal » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:32 am

OZARK TOP 10 COUNTRY SONGS:

10. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
9. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
8. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
7. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here
6. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
5. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
4. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
3. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
2. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
And, the Number 1 Favorite Country Song of 2006 Is:
1. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now
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Signature: krystal

Ozark words

Post by Ken Greenwald » Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:55 am

And one of my personal favorites is I Got Tears in My Ears from Lying on My Back in My Bed While I Cried Over You. That one just gets me every single time I hear it!
____________________

Ken G – March 5, 2006
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Ozark words

Post by Erik_Kowal » Mon Mar 06, 2006 12:00 pm

Yes, it can get noisy with all that water rushing through one's ears.
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