Take care in parties

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Take care in parties

Post by Bobinwales » Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:37 pm

Bernard had spent a long evening in pub in part of town that was strange to him. During the very serious hangover construction that he was undertaking, he fell to talking to a smartly dressed couple who for reasons unknown to Bernard took a liking to him, and invited him to the house party to which they were on their way when the pub closed.

Eventually, they Landlord called “Time”, and off went the three of them up and down streets that were a total mystery to Bernard. After a while they arrived at a front door that was painted like a rainbow, in they went, Bernard found the kitchen, which was where the booze was, and everyone had a very pleasant time indeed.

In the course of time Bernard needed to answer a call of nature, so asked directions, and blundered about upstairs, where he found to his utter astonishment, a golden toilet, which he used.

The following morning Bernard woke up in his own bed, with no recollection of how he got there, he thought that he must have had a taxi judging by the state of his wallet. Then the memory of the golden toilet forced itself on his consciousness.

It became so much of an obsession that he set out to find it. He remembered where the pub was, so he started from there, and walked the streets until he found the rainbow front door, which he knocked.

The door was opened by a bleary-eyed young woman, and Bernard asked her if there had been a party there last night. The woman confirmed that there had indeed been a very boozy party there the previous night. Bernard closed his eyes and with a lot of trepidation, because he still didn’t really believe what he had seen, asked if they actually did have a golden toilet. The young woman turned slowly and shouted, “John, it’s the dirty idiot who cr*pped in your tuba!”
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Signature: All those years gone to waist!
Bob in Wales

Take care in parties

Post by haro » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:02 pm

Here's another "wrong toilet" joke:

In the middle of the night, the old guy yelled, "Honey, wake up, wake up! Guess what happened? I think I'm in good luck..."

"What are you talking about?", muttered the wife.

"I just went to the bathroom. When I opened the door, the lights went on automatically. At first I didn't give a damn but, when I was done, I shut the door and instantly the lights went off! God must be on my side. Tomorrow, first thing in the morning, I must buy a lottery ticket. I can be rich! And we can..."

The wife jumped off the bed and yelled "You old fart! Did you pee in the refrigerator again?"
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Signature: Hans Joerg Rothenberger
Switzerland

Take care in parties

Post by Erik_Kowal » Fri Jul 22, 2005 10:19 pm

Late one evening an 18-year-old girl brought her new boyfriend back to the house that she shared with her parents, who had gone to bed.

After making out with her on the living-room sofa for half an hour, the boyfriend asked where the bathroom was. "Oh dear," replied the girl, "it's at the end of the corridor upstairs, past my parents' bedroom. But I'm afraid you might wake them up and scare them because I haven't introduced you yet. Why don't you use the kitchen sink down here instead?"

Five minutes later, the boyfriend cracked open the door leading to the living room and poked his head round. "Got any paper?" he asked.
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Take care in parties

Post by haro » Sat Jul 23, 2005 10:32 am

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud , blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."

The bartender says, "You idiot! I guess you're sitting on the mop bucket!"
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Signature: Hans Joerg Rothenberger
Switzerland

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