Ralph goes into a New York bar looking depressed. Seeing him in this state, Steve, one of his bar-room friends, approaches him and asks, "Why the long face, Ralph?"
"Oh, I'm just feeling really bored and restless right now. I know every person in the entire world, and there's just nothing left to challenge me."
Steve says, "No, you surely can't know everybody. I mean, for instance, do you know Paul McCartney?"
Ralph says, "Of course, Paul's an old pal of mine... Here, I'll show you." He goes over to a payphone and dials a number. His friend overhears a British accent: "Hey Ralph, me old mate, how're yous doing?"
Ralph chats away for a while, but when he hangs up Steve is not fully convinced that it was Paul McCartney on the other end of the line. So he asks Ralph if he knows the president of the United States. Ralph replies, "Oh, sure, we go way back." This time he lets Steve listen in as he calls a private number. It does sound pretty much like the voice of the president at the other end as they embark on a deep discussion of the current state of the economy, and Ralph even throws in a few suggestions regarding fiscal policy. Drawing the conversation to a close, Ralph wishes the president well and hangs up.
Steve is rather dumbfounded at this point. "Well, there must be someone that you don't know," he muses. He runs over a few more people in his mind and mumbles to himself, "Ralph can't possibly know the Pope. After all, Ralph's Jewish."
But Ralph replies that he does indeed know the Pope. So on a whim, Steve decides to fly both himself and Ralph to Rome to get proof of Ralph's assertion.
When the airport taxi finally arrives at the Vatican, Ralph suggests that his friend wait outside in St Peter's Square until he has cleared things with His Holiness. So twenty minutes later, Steve is standing in the square, idly gazing at the pigeons strutting on the balustrade above and drumming his fingers on a railing, when who should step out onto the balcony of the private Papal residence, arm in arm with the Pope, but Ralph.
Ralph looks down and sees that Steve has apparently passed out. He quickly relinquishes the Pope's arm in order to run down and see what he can do for his pal.
"What happened, old friend? Couldn't you accept the fact that I really do know the Pope?"
"No, I had actually begun to take that on board. But what really took my breath away was when some stranger next to me asked, "Who's the fat little fellow standing there with Ralph?" "
We've created this area in the hope of seeing material ranging from some well-told (or well retold) jokes to original writing with a humorous slant, or anything else that might appeal to the kind of person who enjoys playing with words more than people. That probably means someone like yourself. N.B. -- Postings preceded by ** contain some sexual or risqué content. (Makes them easier to find.)
Signature: -- Looking up a word? Try OneLook's metadictionary (--> definitions) and reverse dictionary (--> terms based on your definitions)8-- Contribute favourite diary entries, quotations and more here8 -- Find new postings easily with Active Topics8-- Want to research a word? Get essential tips from experienced researcher Ken Greenwald
End of topic.