Opinions on why the chicken crossed the road

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Opinions on why the chicken crossed the road

Post by Erik_Kowal » Mon Sep 23, 2019 9:49 pm

THE BIBLE: And the Lord spake from the heavens, saying unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing in the henhouse.

RENE DESCARTES: I think… Hey, is that a chicken crossing the road?

RONALD REAGAN: Huh? Was there a chicken? I was asleep.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

THE ORACLE OF DELPHI: I need some chicken entrails before I can answer that.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side". That's what "they" call it: the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side". That chicken should not be free to cross the road, plain and simple.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

JERRY SPRINGER: Today a surprise guest reveals what everyone in this room wants to know – why it crossed the road, who with, and what happened next.

BILL CLINTON: That depends on what the meaning of 'cross' is.

NATIONAL ENQUIRER: Chicken’s Shameful Secret Revealed!

ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN: Whereof we do not know, thereof we must be silent. And that includes chickens.

ADOLF HITLER: Today in Germany we are breeding Überhuhnen. Tomorrow they will cross über the road. The next day – Poland!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

GEORGE W. BUSH: As a fellow-American, this chicken is entitled, that I don’t be in doubt of, to strive to get to the other side of the road to the best of her ability. Yes folks, that’s what this symbol of the American spirit is all about. His freedom to cross roads. Including chickens.

DONALD TRUMP: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. Fine people! Yes, really!

CHARLES DARWIN: Today it’s only crossing a road. Tomorrow it will be a two-lane highway, and eventually an interstate. Unless a truck gets to it first, of course – but that’s what evolution is all about. The survival of the fastest.

BORIS JOHNSON: The people of Britain voted for the chicken to cross the road. I would rather die in a ditch than have that chicken not cross the road by October 31st!

NOSTRADAMUS: If that chicken only knew what I knew, it wouldn't be in such a hurry.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

HENNY PENNY: To tell the King the sky’s a-falling.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one.
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Re: Opinions on why the chicken crossed the road

Post by Ken Greenwald » Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:04 pm

Excellent Erik. I really enjoyed that.
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Ken - September 28, 2019
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Re: Opinions on why the chicken crossed the road

Post by Bobinwales » Thu Oct 03, 2019 12:11 am

SCHRÖDINGER: The chicken is on both sides of the road.
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Signature: All those years gone to waist!
Bob in Wales

Re: Opinions on why the chicken crossed the road

Post by trolley » Thu Oct 03, 2019 12:53 am

GORDON RAMSAY: Because it fucking well wanted to. That's fucking why!

MARK TWAIN: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated
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Re: Opinions on why the chicken crossed the road

Post by Erik_Kowal » Thu Oct 03, 2019 3:12 am

PABLO PICASSO: You say it's a chicken. To me, it's a saucepan with feathers.

LORD SNOWDON: Hold still! -- Damn, it moved.

EDMUND HILLARY: Because it's there.

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE: The universe doesn't care if it crossed the road or not.

PAUL DANIELS: When I wave my wand, this chicken will magically appear on the other side of the road!

BOB ROSS: Now I'll take my soft brush -- like this -- and just dab it on the canvas over here. A couple of strokes for the body... and look, here's an eye, and a couple more strokes for the feet.... Now, isn't that a lovely little chicken!

'EL CHAPO' GUZMAN: No-one will ever suspect what that chicken is carrying in its egg. And if they do, my pistolero will deal with them.

DUKE OF EDINBURGH: Liz, I am not giving it an award just for crossing the bloody road!
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