Pigeons

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Pigeons

Post by daverba » Sun Oct 01, 2006 4:38 am

Half-baked plan #1 -- Soak some cracked corn in vodka and leave it out for them. When they reach a helpless state (aka BFS - Barroom Floor Syndrome), dispose of them as you wish (ie, drive them 25 miles away, release them. See which ones return, and sell them as homing pigeons to pay for the cracked corn, the vodka and the gas [petrol] for the car). If they return after you sell them, then send them to AA, move away, and change your name and your wardrobe. Get plastic surgery just to be on the safe side.

Half-baked plan #2 -- Install wind chimes. You may need do buy some vodka to drink when the chimes get to you unless you get those nice styrofoam chimes. Also write a book about your life with The Cult of the Worldly Wackos of Wordwizard to help pay for the chimes, vodka and therapy sessions. Use any leftover money for a down payment on a ticket for the alien spaceship hiding behind the next comet to pass by.
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Pigeons

Post by Shelley » Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:33 pm

daverba, re: your half-baked idea #1 -- I can only picture a trio of drunken pigeons staggering around singing, "Jimmy crack corn, and I don't caaaare . . . !"
Phil White wrote: In the office building where I used to work until recently, we were plagued with rooks. Hundreds of the beasts. So much so that customers I was talking to on the phone used to ask whether I was on the set of a Hitchcock movie.

The caretaker managed to get hold of a device that played the call of a hunting hawk at irregular intervals, and we had the problem solved. I still had to explain to my customers "the call of a hunting hawk" when they asked "what the hell was that?" (it was rather loud) but at least I didn't have to pick my way through rook crap to get into the office.
The pigeon problem has become very bad around the US Military recruiting office in the center of Times Square. They have installed this hunting hawk tape to deal with it, and I guess it's working. I heard the sound a few weeks ago, and it is really something! Very loud, with a variety of separate cries -- I mean, it really stops traffic (actually, pretty easy to do in the middle of Times Square, NY). In a letter to the editor in the New York Daily News, someone made a joke about certain parties having exclusive rights to sh-t on the US Military, and those parties not being pigeons . . .
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Pigeons

Post by gdwdwrkr » Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:55 pm

And so it goes between hawks and doves.
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Pigeons

Post by Edwin Ashworth » Tue Jan 16, 2007 12:26 am

A local Council is considering serving an ASBO on a lady who refuses to stop feeding the local pigeonry.
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Pigeons

Post by Erik_Kowal » Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:33 am

They'd be better off serving boas with the birds.
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Pigeons

Post by Ken Greenwald » Tue Jan 16, 2007 8:14 am

Erik, But wouldn't that constrict the menu?
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Pigeons

Post by Erik_Kowal » Tue Jan 16, 2007 8:24 am

Perhaps, but boas are used to ramming things down their throats.
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Pigeons

Post by DJHampson » Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:35 pm

I had this problem once. I solved it by placing numerous bronze statues on the balconies of my neighbours.
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Pigeons

Post by Edwin Ashworth » Fri Jan 19, 2007 8:00 pm

Don't you have a limitation of statues where you live?
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Pigeons

Post by Erik_Kowal » Fri Jan 19, 2007 8:56 pm

DJ's neighbours probably call him the statuary ape.
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Re: Pigeons

Post by Shelley » Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:44 pm

A couple of years ago, in the interest of knowing my enemy, I read this very interesting book about pigeons. I have to admit I looked at the little demons differently for about five minutes: their feathers do display a remarkable variety of “color” patterns and effects, for example, and the people who race homing pigeons can be a devoted and likeable group. I learned a lot from the book, but not enough to form even a spit of affection for these disgusting and wicked birds. It’s funny that the author’s name is Blechman, which I consider a worthy aptonym if ever there was one.

I bring this up today, because this winter has brought them back into my life with a vengeance: one actually flew into my apartment this morning! The appalling boldness really threw me for a loop. I was getting late for work, and well, I could not catch this pigeon – chasing it around my (small) living room. It wedged itself behind a filing cabinet, and that was that. I woke up my husband and left him to it.

The kite-tail streamers have been successful for a few years now in keeping the pigeons away. Very recently, though, I put a shelf unit out on the terrace to store pots and tools. Unfortunately, it too much resembles a dovecote and it has resulted in at least two pairs setting up housekeeping. Now, it looks like they’re moving into my house!

Just one more episode in the continuing soap-opera of (wo)man versus pigeon – my spouse was successful, by the way, in getting the interloper out the door. This weekend I will dismantle my very useful but impossible shelf unit, and I’m very pissed off about it.
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Re: Pigeons

Post by Wizard of Oz » Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:46 pm

.. could your new visitors be dissuaded by the cogent placement of a scarepigeon in the shape of a rather vicious looking cat ?? ..

WoZ who has nesting wild doves
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Re: Pigeons

Post by Erik_Kowal » Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:24 am

Or how about installing an electric fence where they like to perch? All you need is a car battery or a suitable 12V transformer plus some electric fence wire (and insulated mounting fasteners if you attach the wire to an electrically conducting surface). If you can install a second, earthed wire very close to the electrified wire in such a way that a bird that sits on either wire must touch both wires simultaneously, the bird will receive an electric shock. Even though you live in a big city which probably lacks an agricultural supplies store on every corner, you will be able to order the components, and find installation instructions or videos, online.

When you need access to the shelving you can temporarily disconnect the electricity supply from the electrified wire so that no-one in your household risks getting a shock.

At the very least, perhaps you can enclose the shelving with doors (or wooden frames with chicken wire stretched across, which would allow light and air to pass through) so that the birds have no access to potential nest sites.
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Re: Pigeons

Post by Ken Greenwald » Tue Jan 24, 2012 4:46 am

aaa
Shelley, Speaking of pigeons, many years ago my wife and I were walking down Broadway – she was from Chicago and I was showing her the sights – when boom! out of nowhere she gets hit in the blouse by a pigeon relieving itself. Whether it was a flyby or performed from some perch on high, we will never know. All I can say is that it was bad. But it could have been worse. The blouse wasn’t that inauspicious a spot if one had to choose one over some others. However, when deciding on methods, I would say that electrocution is too kind! A stake through the heart would be more like it. Of course, I hold no bitterness. (>:)

Speaking of pigeons and a tale of sweet revenge, for those who may have missed it, see here.
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Re: Pigeons

Post by Shelley » Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:00 pm

I heard somewhere that getting pooped on by a bird was good luck. A debatable silver-lining . . .
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