Wordwizard

Two blokes were chatting in the pub and one said that they went put to the car par he would show the other something quite amazing. They went outside and walked up to a battered old VW Golf. The driver opened the glovebox and took out a tarnished old lamp. Which he rubbed, and much to the other man’...

I like that.

Thank you Phil. I shall take great pleasure in quoting you.

I afraid that it means absolutely nothing to me, perhaps someone with knowledge of American slang can help. And to be pedantic, an "ass" to me is a donkey, the part of the anatomy that rests on a chair is an "arse". I admit that I have come across a theory that "arse" was a later invention, but that...

I used to work in the council department that was responsible for the collection of Refuse (we always used a capital letter to distinguish it from refuse). In 1998 I developed... . WILLIAMS’ LAWS OF REFUSE . First Law : Refuse expands to the outside of the container placed for it. . Second Law : Ref...

My father used to say that his car was running out of juice when it needed petrol.
(Had he been American, it would have needed gasoline of course)

I can't see anything wrong with any of those.

It is an expression, it has no factual meaning.

Sorry Phil. I really enjoy bad jokes and puns and I have collected them, changed some and made some up all my life.
I even won a prize from BBC Radio Wales for one once.

There were two cockles bouncing along the sea bed. A mummy cockle, and bless him, a baby cockle! Suddenly some phytoplankton drifted by! Mummy cockle turned and sucked in the lot! Baby cockle who was hungry, and after all he was growing, complained, "Why didn't you save some of that for me?" Mummy c...

I wonder if it is worth chucking in what would probably happen in Wales. In the first place, we speak a language called "Wenglish". This was once described brilliantly as "English spoken through the medium of Welsh". And secondly, as there are thousands of us with the same surnames, Williams, Jones,...

I'm not at all sure if this helps.

A bloke in the pub asked if it was true that an apple a day kept the doctor away, or is it one of Granny's myths?

The people who made me what I am, and one or two are still alive, are my old teachers.
I would say that an ex-teacher is someone who used to teach but doesn't any more.

1) I am trying to get as high grades as I can. I am trying to get the highest grades that I can. 2) I am trying to get grades as high as I can. It's not wrong I suppose, but it's not right either. 3) We don't make as expensive jackets as you do. No! 4) We don't make jackets as expensive as you do. ...